Untitled, Haden Nicholl, 2007

DoDont starts the conversation.

In order to prove this thesis let me show you a few DoDont posts and see what happens.

Do: feed the pigeons in the street excessive amounts of fizz candy.  That way they will explode in the air, creating horrible beauty.

Dont: touch the electrical fence with the plug of a waffle maker in order to make breakfast.

Ok, so now we have a few different starting points for a conversation.  We can discuss these statements separately or together.  It depends how they enter your DoDont stream.  Let’s pretend that the statements were separate.

Is this true that enough of this fizz candy would produce such a spectacle?  And how would this spectacle look in action at a park or an urban monument?  After the exploding pigeon’s feathers were scattered, would the ground be a pillow fight battle field that squishes after each step?  Would we still hear the fizzing of the candy over the screams of the terrified onlookers?  When I was young I never really saw pigeons that much.  I didn’t mind them when I did see them.  Now I think they are the plague.  Am I mad at my former self, who didn’t mind pigeons; mad that I was such a fool, mad that I was so weak!?

The electrical fence is an interesting thing in and of itself.  We could talk about what an oddity this type of equipment is and how unpractical it would be by a bus stop.  It seems like it is from some spy movie, but you have to wonder, if you really wanted to hide something from people, wouldn’t it be easier not having an electric fence calling attention to yourself?  When you go through all the trouble of having an electrical fence, with a big fancy red sign and constant hum, that is precisely when the crazies come.  They are usually there in the morning with their waffle makers, pitchers of batter, and squeeze bottles full of artificial syrup.  Now if one could manage to make breakfast for eleven, one wonders if one could charge an electric car.

If  we see the aforementioned two posts together, in a pair, from the same DoDont user, we would have to assume the pigeons were on the fence eating the fizz candy, dancing through the pain of electrical currents zapping at their feet.  As the pigeons chomped away on the fizz candy, a band of crazies came by in an electric van loaded with fixings for their waffles, and just as the waffle plug made contact with the fence, the pigeons burst.  From a screaming onlooker’s perspective, the only discernible features were pockets of fizzy mayhem.  It was horribly beautiful.  And from then on out, the crazies never tried to make waffles again.  The End.

You see, DoDont starts the conversation.  Now go on and start your own at www.dodont.com.