Untitled, Haden Nicholl, 2007

We’d like to introduce you to DoDont (www.dodont.com or click Home at the top right of this page).  Please feel free to rail against us, our lack of business plan, and social networks in general.  Please let us have it.  We don’t have that many features.  We don’t even have Twitter integration!

Oh wow, a social network.  That’s impressive.  I guess you think you’re pretty smart and this is 2004?  You know, I’m sick and tired of all these lame sites that don’t add any value.  Where’s the group commerce?  The private sales?  The virtual goods?

We are just a few people who have other jobs and created DoDont in our spare time.

Oh really?  Guess what…cry me a river.  I built a site in two days that got sold to Google.

But you haven’t even tried DoDont.  How do you know you won’t like it?

Your site’s stupid and so are social networks.

But DoDont is an Opinion Engine.  It is the place to create and find opinions on the Internet.

You made that up.

No, it is.  You just finish a post that starts with either Do or Don’t.  It’s that simple.

Let me get this straight, DoDont is just a post with either Do or Dont at the start of a sentence?  Hey guess what, maybe I’ll do the same thing on Twitter or Facebook…or BOTH!

That’s fine.  Please do.  But realize that DoDont is laser focused on just this one thing, opinions.  We have a system that allows you to find the information you need.  We expect Dodont to work with many services. And guess what?  DoDont is binary.

Don’t try to woo me with binary.  I love that word.

Do or Dont.  Positive or negative. Binary.

Stop it.  Stop saying that….it’s such a beautiful word….

I’ll say the other B-word.

Don’t do it.

I will.

Don’t!

Boolean.

Ahhh!

Boolean!

You are some force of evil to be dropping Double Bs.  Sir, that is not cool.

That’s right.  You can even support or oppose each post.  Support or Oppose.  One or the other.

Is Britney Spears on DoDont?

Um…no.  Neither is Justin Beiber…

Really?  Well that’s good.

You mean the fact that certain people are not on our site is a positive? Well, if that’s the case, based on who is or who is not on Dodont, then DoDont can totally be your favorite site in the whole wide world.

Wait, you don’t have asymmetrical relationships?  What are you stupid?

Saying asymmetrical relationships doesn’t make you smart.

Does too.

Oh wow, Mr. Smart Guy.  Asymmetrical relationships.  Asymmetrical relationships.  What a great idea.  Never thought of that one.  Maybe we should hire you.  Oh, wait, I forgot we have no money so you may have to excuse the lack of perfection at this early stage.

No excuses, I sold my company to Goog-

I know.  To Google.  I saw it on your blog, your twitter profile, and that stupid t-shirt that you wear.

I didn’t make a t-shirt.

I was being facetious.

Oh that’s helpful  How witty of you.  At the end of the day, guess who has sold a company to no one…you!

Touche.  How ‘bought this, at least check out DoDont.  If you don’t like it, post a Dont saying why you don’t like it.  I will oppose your post.  You will be angry.  I will be contrite.  And then the cycle will repeat.

Fine.  I will.  And I’ll also take you up on that t-shirt idea. It could be useful for the holidays.  Don’t worry, you’ll be on the list.

Actually, truth be told, we appreciate the criticism.  When it’s pointed and astute, it only helps. It pulls us out of our own little DoDont mind warp.  Don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t feel good.  It’s like taking a punch in the stomach, but eventually it heals over with muscle.

Well, I’ll also be honest.  I don’t have time for civility, but I’ll try harder in that category.

You should.

It’s just that, I see something and I give my opinion, my first opinion, which is usually right. It doesn’t always come out right, but the opinion is right. Sure, not always.  I can be wrong…but I’m more right than wrong.

DoDont may just be the perfect site for you.

Lay off on the sales for a second, ok?

OK.

I’m not trying to be cocky, but I’m made for this stuff. I know technology.  Do you understand what I’m saying?  I’m made for this stuff.  I love it.

That’s valid.

I shouldn’t be bothered with every new application out there, but guess what, I’m bothered by every new application out there.  I need to see progress.  It rubs me the wrong way if I feel we’re going backwards…… It bothers me to no end if we’re not pushing things hard enough.   I want humans to reach their potential.

Hmm.  The only thing I would have to say to that is I agree with you, but sometimes companies like us just don’t have the current resources to achieve our fullest potential.  Mentally, ideologically, we’re with you.  We want what you want.

Ok, but-

Hold On.  I’m not finished.  We’re in this game too.  Don’t forget that.  The thing is,  DoDont and every other startup are creating new things.  It may just be a glimmer of progress, but it’s progress.    So I would just say, take other factors in when you weight in on a new application…especially for green startups.

Ok, but green startups need to execute.  Period.

Of course they do.  DoDont does.  Check it out. You’ll see.

This was a good conversation.

It was.

I don’t disagree with anything I’ve said.

Neither do I.

Good.  It’s just…it’s easy to get disillusioned with the world.

Agreed.

So we are in agreement?

Yes.

Untitled, Haden Nicholl, 2007

DoDont starts the conversation.

In order to prove this thesis let me show you a few DoDont posts and see what happens.

Do: feed the pigeons in the street excessive amounts of fizz candy.  That way they will explode in the air, creating horrible beauty.

Dont: touch the electrical fence with the plug of a waffle maker in order to make breakfast.

Ok, so now we have a few different starting points for a conversation.  We can discuss these statements separately or together.  It depends how they enter your DoDont stream.  Let’s pretend that the statements were separate.

Is this true that enough of this fizz candy would produce such a spectacle?  And how would this spectacle look in action at a park or an urban monument?  After the exploding pigeon’s feathers were scattered, would the ground be a pillow fight battle field that squishes after each step?  Would we still hear the fizzing of the candy over the screams of the terrified onlookers?  When I was young I never really saw pigeons that much.  I didn’t mind them when I did see them.  Now I think they are the plague.  Am I mad at my former self, who didn’t mind pigeons; mad that I was such a fool, mad that I was so weak!?

The electrical fence is an interesting thing in and of itself.  We could talk about what an oddity this type of equipment is and how unpractical it would be by a bus stop.  It seems like it is from some spy movie, but you have to wonder, if you really wanted to hide something from people, wouldn’t it be easier not having an electric fence calling attention to yourself?  When you go through all the trouble of having an electrical fence, with a big fancy red sign and constant hum, that is precisely when the crazies come.  They are usually there in the morning with their waffle makers, pitchers of batter, and squeeze bottles full of artificial syrup.  Now if one could manage to make breakfast for eleven, one wonders if one could charge an electric car.

If  we see the aforementioned two posts together, in a pair, from the same DoDont user, we would have to assume the pigeons were on the fence eating the fizz candy, dancing through the pain of electrical currents zapping at their feet.  As the pigeons chomped away on the fizz candy, a band of crazies came by in an electric van loaded with fixings for their waffles, and just as the waffle plug made contact with the fence, the pigeons burst.  From a screaming onlooker’s perspective, the only discernible features were pockets of fizzy mayhem.  It was horribly beautiful.  And from then on out, the crazies never tried to make waffles again.  The End.

You see, DoDont starts the conversation.  Now go on and start your own at www.dodont.com.